We Will Crash and Burn
by freshbonesforsale
Summary: Trials and tribulations of the two most unruly women trying to make their now intertwined lives work. For you, Dani.
1. The Before - Chapter 1: Happy Birthday

**Before: **

Addison Forbes-Montgomery was turning_ forty._ It was an age that she had reached where she decided to start lying, and saying she was thirty-nine. She would continue the cycle until she became fifty, and the image of a thirty-nine year old had been out the door long before. She still found gray hairs hiding in the mess of red locks peeking out as if to tell her to give up the act. Every three weeks, and a bottle of root dye later, she was back to the sassy, never aging WASP woman she was destined to be.

Birthdays were always so awkward for the neonatal surgeon. Only her birthdays, though. Everyone got her gifts they thought she'd love, things she didn't have, and people who pretended like they cared about a single thing going on in her life. Truth be told, they came for the cake, and because the most stubborn woman had invited them, and threatened their lives if they decided to even think about not attending. Addison pretended to love the party - for her girlfriend of five months, Amelia Shepherd. The woman who was in complete control of parties, gatherings and whatever other social encounter she may have with another human being. There were tiny sandwiches that looked like they belonged on a kid's menu, champagne for the guests, yet the two women were only offered ginger ale, and everyone in the beach side house was to understand this, and not give way to any requests or demands for the bubbly drinks they were served.

Music played from the indoor stereo system as everyone from the practice, as well as some older friends, came to wish Addison a very happy birthday. The catchy song was drowning out the sound of the seagulls and the crashing of the waves in her back yard. Her best friend, Sam Bennett was in charge of the barbecue, offering anyone who walked by a hamburger or hot dog, both of which looked over cooked and charred black. Addie grabbed Amelia's arm in passing, leaning down to whisper directly into the brunette's ear. "We're going to have to order Chinese after, Sam's burning the life out of the food." She said after having made the observation.

Addie placed a kiss on her girlfriend's cheek, and released her into the wild of friends chattering and eating tiny sandwiches rather than the main course. Only thirty seconds later, the defined laugh of Amelia tore through her ears, and she grinned from ear to ear. The happiness of her lover was worth the never ending questions, congratulations, and statements about their own birthdays. It was an anti-funeral, and she just wanted to escape from the group and hide in her bathtub for a few hours. Nobody would've noticed she had disappeared anyway, they were there for their well being, as well as whatever cake had been bought and planned two weeks in advance.

What had felt like years was a mere two hours, presents, cake, and burned burgers later. A large trash bag in hand, the redhead had started to pick up plates, silverware, and cups, putting them either in the trash or sink respectively. A certain someone's present was missing from the group that were clumped into a pile on the coffee table. As the certain someone's arms wrapped around Addison's head and covered her eyes, she knew she had guessed correctly that her present would come after the party.

"Happy birthday, love." Amelia had said in a sing-song voice, "You ready for your present?" As the brunette talked, she was leading the taller woman to the couch where she safely sat her down and removed her hands from her eyes to sit in front of her on the floor. Addison looked down at Amelia on the floor, a grin breaking her pensive expression. She shifted around getting comfortable while Amy was pulling a box out of her jacket pocket.

"I know we already decided to get married and all, I just thought this would make it seem more... you know, real? So will you for sure marry me?" The way her tone wavered as if she wasn't sure of the redhead's reply already brought a chuckle to Addison's lips.

"Of course I will for sure marry you."

The ring was meticulously taken from its felt holding, and placed onto Addie's slim finger, fitting perfectly and shining bright. She thought she had hated birthdays, but Amelia proved her wrong. There was an overwhelming feeling of love in her chest, pumping that love through her veins, and it was all she could see, feel and hear as Addie got to her knees in front of Amelia, her back to the bottom of the couch. A pale hand sporting a new ring cupped Amelia's equally pale cheek, bringing her in for a passionate kiss.

Luckily the coffee table had been moved towards the television for more 'socialization room' as Amelia had put it that same morning. Addison had laid her lover back onto the beige carpet, straddling her hips as her hands roamed the familiar skin. Her eyes followed her hands down and up Amelia's body. When Addie's eyes met Amy's, she noted that the heavy lidded blues were staring at her plumped lips. The need had became inevitable, and Addison moved her hands to the carpet on either side of Amy's head. It allowed her to lower herself down and suck her bottom lip in between her own.

Her hands were raised from the carpet by Amelia's, which was her opportunity to lace their fingers, and flip Addison onto her back, giving her the upper hand.

"It's your birthday." Amelia whispered as her lips ghosted over the redhead's neck. She wrapped her lips around the sensetive flesh and nibbled until she was certain there would be a mark of her dominance. She pulled away and ran her warm tongue over it to soothe the bruise.

Their lips connected again, both fighting for dominance. Addison would tug Amelia's shirt off, tossing it over onto the couch, and Amelia would do the same until they were left nearly bare. She finally tugged off the skirt that hugged Addison's figure, a smirk on her lips. Addison's head was lifted slightly off the ground to watch her movements.

Her pale hand cupped a firm breast as she placed kisses down the valley of her chest, down her toned abdomen, and across her hipbones. The sensation earned her arched hips and a hardly audible gasp.

Addison's head was still angled up, her eyes staring hungrily. Amelia shoved her hand into the thin fabric of her underwear and pushed two fingers into her. Due to hormone treatments the couple hadn't done more than cuddle in the past two weeks. Every sensation felt new again, and as her fingers curled, Addison's head slammed back against the carpet, and a loud moan escaped her lips.

Amelia's hand needily pulled the underwear down Addison's long, slender legs. The feeling of her fingertips gently gliding along her skin rose goosebumps on her skin. Her hands moved back up, wrapping around and gripping at Addison's waist, causing a small giggle.

"God I missed this." Addison said before she was cut of by her own moans as Amelia's tongue circled her clit and she slid her two fingers back inside. She latched onto the nub, letting her teeth graze it gently, then pulling it back in as she sucked.

Addison's hand couldn't grip at the short carpet, so her hand reached down and tangled into the mess of brunette hair, her legs shaking against Amy's head, a loud moan telling her that she was enjoying herself.

Her fingers were jerking in and out of her, tongue running hard and direct over her clit. She couldn't control herself as her hips rolled against Amelia's mouth, begging for more.

She inhaled sharply, making a hissing sound before her jaw fell slack with another moan as shockwaves of pleasure tingled in every part of her, causing her back to arch off the carpet, and her fingers to grip brunette locks tighter.

"Happy birthday..." Amelia mumbled into hot sex, hardly interrupting as her hand continued to push in, curl, and pull out at such a fast speed.

"Happy birt-oh- birthday indeed," Addison rasped, her chest rising and falling faster. Amy's lips wrapped around her clit again, her tongue darting out to flick over the tip, pushing Addison to the edge. Her face was flushed, and her skin covered in a thin layer of sweat as her eyes shut tightly, her body shook and she fell apart.

It was as if time had stopped, and when it had been put into play again, her hand released the grip it held on her love's hair, ushering her up so she could lock their lips, groaning into Amy's mouth at the taste while she tried to gain steadiness in her wobbly legs.

Their lips separated, and Addie pushed their foreheads together, a laugh leaving the brunette's lips before she rolled onto her side, pulling the taller woman flush against her skin. "We're going to have to have round two - because Jesus Herold Christ, the noises you made, pussycat."


	2. The Before - Chapter 2: Congratulations

Before:

"The IVF worked?!" Addison shouted in excitement as her arms wrapped around Amelia to lift her off the ground. On the counter was a sheet of paper from the doctor saying that it had been confirmed. Amelia was in fact, one hundred percent pregnant. It took Addison by storm. She couldn't have children, and Amelia was known for producing children that weren't – _whole._ Her chest was full of love, and happiness, and everything she could ever want.

The redhead gently put Amy's feet back on the floor, her eyes traveling from her partner's blue eyes, to her stomach that would soon blow up like a balloon, to the ring on her left finger, the engagement ring that she had gotten for her birthday. Things couldn't have been any better. "I – I'll make us dinner, and get some sparkling apple cider, and god, we need to start thinking about the nursery, names and if we want to move in a different school district. I cannot believe we're going to be moms!" Addison said excitedly. Her lip bit down on her bottom lip, the butterflies fluttering in her stomach causing her to become irrational and think too far ahead.

"That's nine months away, Addie. Just cool your jets, right now let's make dinner and celebrate, then in a few weeks we can start planning housing and nurseries." Amelia said, her face calm.

It then dawned on Addison that Amelia didn't want to get attached. Her first and only other child had been taken from her minutes after his birth, the defect ruining his chances for survival, but saving the chances of many other babies. Addie had been there and seen how it torn Amelia to the ground, and she knew then that it was reasonable to be weary. Her own exuberance fell to an internal excitement.

"You're right – I'm sorry. Why don't you get a shower and maybe go get the cider, and I'll make dinner." Addison said, pecking Amelia on the cheek. She felt foolish and ridiculous for having not put her lover's feelings and thoughts ahead before going all out, thinking everything would be fine.

"Of course, don't make anything too easy, it's going to take me a while." Amelia said with a small wink, her hand running down Addison's hand before she took the stairs two at a time to the master bedroom. Addison moved into the brightly lit kitchen, and opened the fridge, trying to see what she would make for their celebratory date.


	3. The Before - Chapter 3: Not Meant to Be

**Before:**

Amelia hadn't gone to work, left bed, or done anything but complain about her pain for a week straight. She was eight weeks pregnant, and swore that the pain meant it was a girl – girls were always more complicated. One of the days, when she was feeling especially ill, Addison stayed home to make sure everything was alright.

"Don't you _dare_ look down there! You're my fiance, not my gynecologist!" Amelia said, obviously worried about losing her sex appeal if Addison were to see all of her equipment in a medical point of view.

Addison sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose between her forefinger and thumb. "Listen, I won't even _look_ down there, just let me feel your stomach," She begged, and after receiving a nod, she lifted Amelia's shirt to reveal her pale stomach. "Tell me if it hurts." She said.

Her hand gently pushed down on her abdomen, certain spots on the right side earning her a gasp or a yelp of pain. Addie specialized with women facing pregnancy issues daily. She knew what had happened, but didn't want to face it. Amelia pulled her shirt down and sat herself up against the headboard, eyebrows furrowed as she stared at Addison intently, noting the worried look on the obstetrician's face.

"What is it? What's wrong with our baby?" She asked, her voice quiet.

"We have to go to St. Ambrose. It's an ectopic pregnancy." Addison replied, her hands falling into her own lap.

Addison said the words to her patients all the time. Never once had the sentence before been calling the baby partially _hers. _Her mind went back to the day she found out, the excitement that had washed over her, and how Amelia prodded her down to a reasonable level, in case anything were to happen. She had been exactly right, no reason to get excited as everything they'd worked for, the money, the time, the effort and their emotions were all down the drain.

Later that day, Amelia was dressed in her blue hospital gown, drifting in and out on a series of medications that were okay for her. Ones that were difficult to get addicted to, and just enough to put the pain from her surgery at bay. Addison held her hand, thumb rubbing gently over the back of the sleepy woman's hand. "I'm sorry," She whispered as she brought the cold hand to her mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to it before setting it gently back under the white covers.

There were no words to describe it. Within those eight weeks, she had gotten used to everything. Especially the idea of being called mom, of having Amelia be the child's other mom, and that in seven months they would be raising something of their own together. The rug of enthusiasm and happiness was ripped from under them by reality. Sometimes bad things happened to people who had enough on their plates, and they certainly had full ones.

"I should've gone to Jake." Amelia said, snapping Addison out of the thoughtful daze she'd been in.

"Who did you go to?" Addison asked. She had been under the impression that Jake was her doctor the whole time. Her eyebrows were mashed together, trying to not be angry at the woman. She imagined since it was so hard for herself, that it would be ten times worse for Amelia. She took a deep breath through her nose, and let the anger pass.

"Some guy. Dr. Peterson. He was like a thousand dollars cheaper than Jake, and I just... I don't like him because he's Fiji Guy." Amelia admitted, her lips pressed in a thin line that appeared indifferent, yet her eyes were shiny as if she were fighting back tears.

Jake was undoubtedly expensive to see, and even more expensive when IVF got involved. There were going to be a lot of bills, and a lot of money going out of their wallets, but Addison didn't care.

"You _know_ a healthy child and a healthy _you_ is more important than money to me. And the other part, I'm not even going to start there. I have so much money I don't know what to do with it! But I don't flaunt it, I don't buy the world for you, because we don't do that. _This_ is what I wanted to spend my money on, this is what I have zero qualms about doing, and I will do it again. Don't worry about my money." Addison said, getting out of her chair and pressing her hand to her mouth. A small tear ran down her cheek.

Things were starting to look like they wouldn't have children of their own. The woman who worked with babies and pregnant women for a living wouldn't ever be able to have her own baby, and it seemed like her significant other was heading down the same road too. It was like Amelia had said once, _she was barren. _

Addison turned around and promptly took Amelia's hand. The silence was thick in the room, as if Addie had completely popped every bubble, and revealed Amy in one fair swoop. She retracted her hand and grabbed the sheets, pulling them up to her bare collarbones. "Don't touch me," Amelia said, her voice thick with tears before she rolled onto her side with a small wince. "I don't need the comfort, I should be comforting you. I wasted your time – I wasted your money, and I got your hopes up."

All of what she had said was true and Addison saw it how it was. She sat back down in the chair and smoothed out the pleats in her dress. "I'll be right here when you decide to talk." She whispered to the back of her head.


	4. The Before - Chapter 4: Something Blue

**Before:**

Months of planning, and long nights of what felt like cold feet led up to the most amazing moment of their lives. They lost a child, two children for Amelia. Addison was dealing with the self-piteous feelings of becoming forty. And through it all, they continued IVF treatments through the wonderful Jake Reilly who seemed to not be able to care less that Addison Montgomery was dating the previously-a-freak-show Amelia Shepherd. He did his job and they payed him.

Their wedding day had arrived. Addison decided it should be traditional, both women wearing dresses, but one would be walked down the aisle first, then the second. Addie chose to go first and be able to watch the brunette in all her beauty come towards her – towards their new life together. She envisioned it, dreamed about it every night, and would wake with a smile on her face. Nothing prepared her for the day _of_, however. Everyone from the practice had shown up, The Captain, Amelia's mother, and some of Addison's friends from Seattle.

The wedding was held on the beach just outside of Sam and Addison's homes. Addie respected the tradition of not seeing Amelia until the moment everyone else did. She drew back the sheer white curtains to look down at the guests talking by the alter in the sand. There was a long, light blue walkway that would lead the two to where they would be married. She wasn't sure if it was the excitement, or fear of the officialism of starting their lives, but something was causing her stomach to turn and knot. She only hoped Amelia felt the same way.

Violet had agreed to help Addison get ready in her own home while Charlotte was helping Amelia one house over at Sam's. Dawned in the white, satin dress that resembled simplicity, she looked in the mirror and saw that her fiery red hair was standing out. Her breath was drawn in shakily while Violet handed her the bouquet.

"You look gorgeous, Addie." She said, giving the bride a hug.

"Thanks, I feel like I'm going to my death or something," Addison said with a nervous chuckle. She fidgeted with the dress and nodded. "Alright, Mason and the triplets are all ready to be our official kid – people?" She asked, unaware of what to really call the ten year old, and his three year old triplet siblings.

It drew a laugh from Violet's lips. "Yes, they're downstairs waiting for someone to tell them to march out there."

Everything was ready, yet it just felt so uncoordinated. She was dressed head to toe, and there felt like something missing. Addison chalked it up to a mixture of wishing their baby was there, the baby that would've been a month old. She wanted her mother there as well, along with Derek and Archer – two people who never even responded to their invitations.

She sucked it up, rolled her shoulders back and held her head high with her bouquet held in front of her chest. There would never be a time like the now, so she pushed aside whatever unwelcome feelings were trying to tell her otherwise, and followed Violet's lead out of the door, down the stairs, and to the clear Arcadia doors that lead to her backyard. The children had already went down the aisle, Violet and Charlotte had taken their seats, and all that was left was for them to get married.

Addison walked up her patio, where furniture had once been, but was moved in anticipation of the very moment. Her feet were bare, not use in wearing shoes to get them covered in sand. She left the wooden deck and was met with the warm sand that brought on an entirely new feeling of excitement. All of her friends and present family were standing and staring at her as if they were waiting for her to dance or worse – fall flat on her face. She padded through the sand that she sunk into, sparkling tan and white. It complimented the ocean perfectly, the high tide reeling in a mere yard away from the alter and crashing against the sand, leaving a trace of white foam only before the next wave slammed out and soaked it up. Addison pulled her dress up as she met the blue walkway, smiling at her old friends Alex Karev, Calliope Torres, and even Izzie Stevens. The only thing that could break the beautiful smile spread across her lips was the two empty spots next to The Captain, where Bizzy and Archer should've been.

She tried to not let it get to her, ignore it and focus on the one person who mattered more than life itself. Addison took her place at the alter, giving a small wave to Mason, then the music restarted. From the house next door to her own came Amelia. She wasn't on the simple side, she was the half of the couple that always went above and beyond. Addison's eyes were fixated on her as she practically glided gracefully past the deck and onto the sand. Her eyes scanned from the elegant one strapped dress to the beautiful necklace that was placed gently against her pale collarbones. Addison was holding her breath, it seemed like Amelia was taking ages to walk down the aisle, and all the fear and uncertainty had been washed away with the smile that Amy gave, meant for Addie, and only Addie.

They might not have been alone, but watching Amelia made her feel like it was only the two of them there. Addison held her hand out when Amelia came close enough, and she took the invitation hastily, being pulled onto her spot across from Addie into the sunlight. Their friends clapped, adding to the soft roar of the ocean breaking and reeling beside them. She was brought back to reality, yet couldn't take her eyes off the brightened blues of her soon-to-be wife's.

The officiant's voice was droning on and on about God's plans for the two women in front of him. Despite his views on their marriage, he agreed to be there, and support them since he had been around Addison's family for quite a while. Addison had blocked out his words, staring directly at Amelia. She wiggled her toes in the soft, cushion-like sand, hidden beneath the long white train of her dress. Once the officiant asked for the vows, her heart leaped, and fell back down into a faster rhythm. Amelia had cleared her throat and took both of Addison's hands. She was silently melting into the smaller girl's innocent embrace when she started speaking – acknowledging the beginning of their forever.

"I never thought that I could meet someone like you. You are my friend. You are my smile. You are my…everything. You are a breath-taking reflection of God's heart for me and of how he pursued me and loved me even when I didn't love myself. You held my hand in the darkness, and you pulled me out into the light. I love you, and I vow to love you fiercely in all of your forms, now and forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once-in-a-lifetime love, and no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other. I have seen the best of you and the worst of you, and I am choosing both because even if you were to live for one hundred more years, pussycat, I would want to live out all of them at your side—just minus one day so that I would never have to be without you again. I vow to help you love life and to always hold you with tenderness—even on the shoulder of a road in the pouring rain. I vow to have the patience that our love demands even when—especially when—our demons get the better of us. I vow to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not—or at least to try to 'filter' what I have to say. I vow to forever remain within the warmth of our love and to always call it home. I vow to give myself to you in my entirety, for whatever that might be worth, but, most importantly, I vow to give you a family. There will be lots of babies. Eventually. Hopefully. May the love that we share allow us to grow old sharing the same pillow—and with you hogging the covers. I'm sorry, but you do hog the covers. I love you so much, Addie."

The words that took up such a short amount of time to speak, went directly to her heart. Addison released one of Amelia's hands to gently press her finger against the bottom of her eyelid, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to spill. She chuckled nervously, and mouthed to the brunette _I love you._ She sniffled, and took a deep breath. Many things couldn't make the Forbes-Montgomery woman nervous, but speaking about her love – or any feelings for that matter, did the trick.

"I believe deeply and wholly, that even had you not been my ex-husbands sister, I would've found you. We've been through it all together, the bad, great, and everything in between. I never express how lucky I am to have been graced with your personality, your impeccable brilliance, and your capacity for love that I am honored to have stolen a part of. I hijacked our wedding planning one day – you insisted on it being at that country club that Bizzy loved so much, but I begged for weeks on end for the beach. Obviously, I won. I planned it all out, so I could point to the beach, the sun, all of our surroundings and say the vows I've had in mind since the first moment I fell in love with you. I don't want to dwell on the past, or the bad, because we both know where we've been, and the most intimate thing about our relationship is that we can keep things between only our lips. I want to dwell and divulge and tell everybody about you, and my love for you, and how strange and _perfect_ it feels. So here and now, I vow to have the patients that love requires, to hold you at your weakest, and to show you how much I love you as much as I say it. You are beautiful, I can not ever get tired of looking at you. I never have to question if you're smarter than me; I know you are. You are funny without ever being mean, and I am _lucky_ to love you. You've given me your heart, and I've given you mine. Even after all this time, the Sun never says to the Earth, 'you owe me'. Look what happens with a love like that... It lights up the sky. You are my breath, my life, and my sun, so I begged to marry you at the only place where the sun meets the ocean. I love you, and I can't wait for the rest of our forever."

Watching her lover's blue eyes well up with tears brought them back to her own eyes. The officiant smiled at the couple who had tearfully looked up at him as Mason handed the women their rings. With the special two words each that seemed to sum up the entirety of their vows, _they did. _They married, and their lips met in a kiss that Addison had been waiting for since the moment Amelia stepped foot onto the beach.

A smile spread across both of their lips as they separated, holding hands and turned to the friends and family who had risen to their feet once more to clap while they walked back down the blue aisle, and onto the Forbes-Montgomery-Shepherds' patio.

And it was still just the beginning.


End file.
